Again, As Expected

_

Time and space unidentifiable
Afloat midair—hands and feet
Reasons and instincts, a hazy distance
Focus.

Stumbling awkwardly—a dull thud—all faults are revealed
On one ankle, a societal screw tightens
Calloused by sharp emotions, numbed on hardened skin

I, on show behind the glass case—but that isn’t me
All the truths became fiction, therefore I became a lie
Cake this mind of mine with makeup, don’t let the sadness smear
A whirlpool, a hollow core, conflicted once again
At this point—although overdue:
Can this muddy rock still become the promised pearl?

A lurking presence of my fading self
In an unknown place, out of reach
There’s the brutal wind, crashing-
Stumbling again, trampling in dust

Did the colours just fade?
My vision has never been this grey
That vibrant self of mine, where has it gone-
Is it gone

“Without conditions you must struggle,”
Those people aren’t my enemies, don’t misunderstand
There simply was nobody by my side
Walking this place alone so no one could hurt me—backfired

The world looks so noisy from the outside
Better readjust that person of mine
So I can at least fall asleep some day, even if by accident
To recover from this senseless jetlag of emotions
Traveled within the strict space of a room

I’ll breathe it well—the last cold gush of air
To those creatures who coexisted within me
Have you all been well?

 

Originally posted here: http://hellopoetry.com/poem/again-as-expected/

 

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